Hello Brown Truth Tubers,
It’s been a really long time since I’ve had the pleasure of dousing you with my thoughts and experiences about natural hair. I do however have a reason; though, I should have never left you.
It’s no shock that life got in the way: my career (took many unexpected turns and surprises, my heart had run an unexpected course, and my hair grew to unimaginable lengths). Overall, in the interim, I got to experience what true growth (both natural and spiritual) really is when you’re on a destined path, especially if you embrace it with deafening ears to those who are too insecure to welcome their own.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned, and this was an unexpected one, is that accepting you, your flaws, and your failures is the best thing you’ll ever be able to do for yourself. To explain, life is so unpromising that waiting for perfect moments, hair length goals, scale milestones and a future husband can deter you from your destined existence…those moments that have been patiently awaiting your epiphanies to just breathe, or rather, for you to just do it…ultimately reveals that you should live instead of exist. We all should.
Last year a lot happened. But, the one area of my life that I had success, was on my crown. I had-before I’d even realized it-a head full of hair that grew beyond my expectations…all because I simply enjoyed it. The experience of being natural seemingly brought the laid-back comfort that I would soon start to approach the world with through fiery fierce eyes and mountainous heavy steps. Every step I took in focusing on what I loved about myself, unexpectedly took me closer to everything I would learn to love about myself that I once never liked. Once I had realized that my acceptance of my real hair (which is in my eyes a big deal, it’s always been a big issue since the world for so long has tried to tell women of African descent that we aren’t beautiful in any way, shape or form) had become the end all be all…my world had shed a new lens. I quickly saw that my already #boom personality I’d cultured throughout my entire life thus far had become #ThatBoom.
I know this debate on loving your natural self constantly goes back and forth between the arguments of, “…it really doesn’t matter” or “…it’s just hair…” still doesn’t convince many, but when it comes to me, experience wins; though it may be subjective, this is all it takes. I fell more and more into an abyss of happiness the more I realized how real I felt, and I’m not referring to just the physical realm, but the internal manifestation of how my soul now projected what I consider true beauty, which can only be released from an awakened real you. And not the you the world sees, but the you your soul sees. This isn’t to say that I ever presented myself as a fake to the world, but for me, it’s just something about really muting the world of all its judgments and listening to your soul and projecting that being you were meant to be.
The feeling I experienced as I walked out into the world everyday was irreplaceable. At first, I couldn’t figure out if it was the peace and serenity in knowing that now, no matter what, both the image and level of cognition that my soul now projected outwardly had become an unidentifiable substance of the world, basically meaning that my uniqueness could never be duplicated now. Only I could decode it. Finally. I couldn’t be touched by any negative thought or any irrelevant second-guessing because at some point along the way, without even realizing it, I just didn’t care.
In my mind, I wasn’t even aware of the fact that I just didn’t care (meaning, I now loved me and everything I stood for on a level so high that nothing no one said to/about me or did to me mattered; I was now my own rock, not just figuratively, but also literally, well in a sense. Along the way, my interest in a health style expanded into all things “give it your all”. I had reached a point in my life where maximizing peace and acceptance of self had become my own growth currency.
I know you’re thinking, what in the world does this has to do with being natural? Everything. The truth is, well, at least for me, becoming a natural almost five long years ago, was the eye-opening domino effect that would bring me into myself, the woman I am today.
Natural. And. Thankful for the view.
-The Brown Truth